World Funniest Email Jokes

8/6/2007 12:31 PM >>>

This email really freaks me off...
As i dun take meat, so my main protein source came from Bean curb(
tofu)..
I always have tofu as one or more in my everyday meal..

GOOD ARTICLE TO READ... PLEASE DONT IGNORE IT

> >
> >True or NOT, be aware of it. (eat moderate)
> >
> >To Soya/Tofu lovers
> >
> >
> >ONE WOMAN'S STORY ON SOYA...All Males-PLEASE pass
this info to ALL your female friends... It may save
their lives! Something to take note of.

> >This is my true story, nothing altered. These are
facts, as they relate to my experience, my opinions
based on what I have read and felt. I am relating them
to warn other young health-conscious women who are
unwittingly harming themselves.
> >
> >
> >In 1989, I graduated from high school in Texas and
couldn't wait to hit the big college city. One of the
changes I wanted to make was to eat healthier.
> >
> >Once I moved to health-conscious Austin , Texas , I
began to fortify my body with the best and healthiest
foods I could find. Tofu was the main ingredient in
every healthy dish and I bought soya milk almost every
day used it for everything from cereal to smoothies or
just to drink for a quick snack. I bought soya
muffins, miso soup with tofu,soybeans, soybean,
sprouts, etc. All the literature in all the health and
fitness magazines said that soya protected you against
everything from heart disease to breast cancer. It was
the magical isoflavones, the estrogen-like hormones
that all worked to help you stay young and healthy.
> >
> >I looked great - I was working out all the time,
but my menstrual cycle was off. At 20,I started taking
birth control pills to regulate my menstrual cycle. In
addition to this I began to suffer from painful
periods. I began to get puffy, it was as though I was
losing my muscle tone. I began to suffer from
depression and getting hot flashes. I mistook all this
for PMS since my periods were irregular. By the time I
was 25, my periods were so bad,I couldn't walk. The
birth control pills never made them regular or less
painful so I decided to stop taking them.

> >
> >I went on like this for another two years until I
realized my pain wasn't normal. At 27, my gynecologist
found two cysts in my uterus. Both
were the size of tennis balls. I went through surgery
to have them removed and thank God they were benign.
The gynecologist told me to go back on birth control
pills. I didn't. In 1998, he discovered a lump in
my breast. Again, I went through surgery and again it
was benign.

> >In November 2000 my glands swelled up and my gums
became inflamed. Thinking I had a tooth infection I
went to the dentist who told me that teeth were not
the problem. After a dose of antibiotics the swelling
still did not go down. At this point I could feel a
tiny nodule on the right side of my neck. I told my
mother I had thyroid trouble. She thought I was being
silly. No one in the family suffered from thyroid
trouble.
> >
> >Going on a hunch I saw a Specialist who diagnosed
me with Papillary Thyroid Carcinoma. After a series of
tests he told me it was cancer. My fiance and I sat
stunned. We were not prepared and I was so scared. We
scheduled surgery right away. The specialist told us
that it would only be after the operation that a
pathologist would be able to tell us for sure if it
was cancer.
> >
> >
> >They found a tumor at my right lobe composed of
irregular cells and another smaller tumor growing on
the left, so the entire thyroid was removed. They told
me that after undergoing radioactive iodine I would be
safe and assured me that I could live a long life.
After treatment I began to search for the cause of all
these problems. I never once thought it could be all
the Soya I had consumed for nearly ten years.

> >After all, soya is healthy. I came upon a web page
that linked thyroid problems to soya intake and the
conspiracy of soya marketed as a by-product of the
vegetable oil industry.
> >

> >This was insane, after all, the health and fitness
magazines had said nothing about soya being harmful. I
visited a herbalist who was diagnosed with thyroid
cancer in 1985. She informed me that soya was the
culprit. She had a hysterectomy due to cysts and other
uterine problems. A few months later another
acquaintance who had consumed soya came down with
thyroid cancer.
> >

> >A girl in England I met through the Internet in a
thyroid cancer forum had just undergone surgery and
she was only 19. What was going on? Breast cancer is
linked to estrogen. What mimics estrogen in the female
body, SOYA! But I never suspected soya because until
now I never once found a single article that stated
soya could be dangerous.
> >
> >Women who took soya prior to thyroid problems will
continue to take it after if they are not aware of
what soya actually does, what it contains and how it
reacts in the female body. I think this is the reason
that women with thyroid cancer often develop breast
cancer later.

> >
> >My co-worker is big into soya and I see her losing
hair and gaining weight despite a walking workout
during her break and after work, and apples and
oranges for lunch. She just had cysts removed from her
uterus too. I warned her to stay off Soya. I referred
her to websites but until it is on the evening news on
all four networks, women will suffer. Since the
thyroidectomy, I do not touch soya, haven't for two
years.

> >
> >Dear readers, please use my story in any way you
can. There are so many young girls who are consuming
soya because they think they are taking care of
themselves, and women taking soya because they want to
be healthy. It is so unfair that the information about
the dangers of soya isn't more widely circulated. It
is sad.
> >
> > fwd by Dr Mui

Cartoon To Smile At And Jokes

2007-11-01T09:26:00.000-07:00

Date: Wed, 17 Oct 2007 14:01:40 +0800
Subject: FW: Have a good laugh

Signboard Outside A Prostitute's House:
Married MEN Not Allowed.
We Serve The Needy, Not The Greedy...
~~~~~~

~~~~~~
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi .
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
~~~~~~
A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."
~~~~~~~

Man Quits Smoking Because Of Will Power.
He Quits Drinking Because Of Will Power.
But He Quits Womanizing Because He Has The Will But No Power.
~~~~~~~

Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter ?
~~~~~~
Little Susie came running into the house after school one day,shouting,
"Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science."

Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.
~~~~~~
Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
~~~~~~~~~

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
~~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
~~~~~~~
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions .
~~~~~~~~
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
~~~~~~~~~

Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?
~~~~~~~
Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
~~~~~~~
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
' How long has what been going on?' said the man.
~~~~~~~
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
~~~~~~~~
Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.

Trust You Had Some Laughs..!!

World Funniest Email And Jokes Overview

2007-10-31T02:13:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader, due to the over-whelming readership from my scribd.com. i guess it's about time i set up a blog for all to see the daily funny jokes and email that i receive, enjoy dear scribd reader and you all out there!
God Bless the Cats!